Family
Marriage in Islam: Choosing a Spouse, Love and Mercy
What Islam teaches about marriage: the Quran on love and mercy between spouses, the hadith on choosing a spouse for their religion, and marriage as a Sunnah.
Reviewed by the Nouf Quran Academy teaching team · Updated
Islam sees marriage as a source of tranquillity and a way of completing faith, not just a legal contract.
Tranquillity, affection and mercy
وَمِنۡ ءَايَٰتِهِۦٓ أَنۡ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنۡ أَنفُسِكُمۡ أَزۡوَٰجٗا لِّتَسۡكُنُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيۡنَكُم مَّوَدَّةٗ وَرَحۡمَةًۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَأٓيَٰتٖ لِّقَوۡمٖ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought”
Choosing a spouse
Narrated Abu Huraira:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers
Wealth, family and beauty are not forbidden considerations, but the hadith makes religion and character the deciding factor. The same principle applies to choosing a husband.
Marriage is part of the Sunnah
Narrated Anas bin Malik:A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (ﷺ) asking how the Prophet (ﷺ) worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, "Where are we from the Prophet (ﷺ) as his past and future sins have been forgiven." Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever." The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast." The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever." Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers)
وَأَنكِحُواْ ٱلۡأَيَٰمَىٰ مِنكُمۡ وَٱلصَّـٰلِحِينَ مِنۡ عِبَادِكُمۡ وَإِمَآئِكُمۡۚ إِن يَكُونُواْ فُقَرَآءَ يُغۡنِهِمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضۡلِهِۦۗ وَٱللَّهُ وَٰسِعٌ عَلِيمٞ
“And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing”
Building a strong Muslim home
- Pray together when you can, and learn the Quran together — a shared goal draws hearts closer.
- Speak with gentleness; restrain anger (see our guide on controlling anger).
- Keep the rights of both families with kindness.
Frequently asked questions
What does the Quran say about marriage?
Allah says He created spouses “that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy” (Quran 30:21).
What should I look for in a spouse in Islam?
The Prophet ﷺ said a woman is married for her wealth, family status, beauty and religion, and advised choosing the one with religion (Sahih al-Bukhari 5090). Good character and faith come first.